I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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