how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
