She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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