do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
