just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
