I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
kristin has been a bad kristin
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
