ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
