absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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