he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
