they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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