i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
