Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
