i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
