How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
