my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
