Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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