Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
