a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
