Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
