seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
ugly people sure do ruin things
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
