Whod you bang
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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