Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
