just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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