my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
