hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
