Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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