I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
