is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
