I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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