i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
