she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
