is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
