And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
