how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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