My brain says no but my pants say off.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
