It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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