just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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