I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
