Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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