Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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