He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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