Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
