They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
