Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
