I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
