Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It was confusing and full of hummus
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
