But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
