Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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