i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
