I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
